Mothers Day Interview – Tricia

Introduce yourself! ie. Tell us about yourself/your family.

I’m the other half of the blogging duo – Suburban Bitches. We’ve been at it for almost a year now so dedicated blogger is a new party of my identity. My other titles include wife and mother to my three children – an 11 year old boy, a 9 year old girl and a three year old boy.

What were your expectations of motherhood before you had kids?

I always knew I wanted kids – dolls were always my favorite toys and babysitting was my gig from the age of 9. I was always terrified that I would suck as a mother and that I wouldn’t be able to handle the baby years. Once I had kids I found those were my favorite years and I loved being a mother.

I thought I wanted four kids. My husband KNEW he wanted two. I was willing to compromise. I tried for five years to talk him into for number three and I’m so happy I didn’t give in on that. I always knew there was another little being that was meant to be part of our family. I can’t imagine I would have ever felt complete had he not come along. Since having him I look at pregnant bellies and tiny babies and I’m happy for those mothers but don’t have the tiniest twinge of needing another baby. Even after having two babies I was still plagued with jealousy whenever I’d see those pregnant women or new mamas. We are so right as a family of five. I always told my husband two was way too perfect but three is absolutely perfect for us.
All three of our children are IVF and we lost four pregnancies along the way. For two years we wondered if we’d ever be lucky enough to be parents and even now, 11 years later, I’m amazed that we have three beautiful children. Even when my children are doing their absolute best to put me over the edge, I always remember how incredibly fortunate we live in a time when could change our circumstances and become parents.

What has been (was) your biggest surprise about Motherhood? (Different than you expected? Or wish someone had told you?)

I’m not going to lie – those first six weeks are shockingly hard. I don’t think anyone can ever prepare you for just how difficult they are. My best friend is a mother to five and she says that each time she was blown away at just how tough it is to get through first six weeks with your sanity intact. I’ll complete agree with that. But at the same time I was amazed at how enchanted I was by every little burp and hiccup my little ones made. As hard and exhausting as those first weeks are I’d do them all over again if I could just to hold those tiny little bodies all over again.

Biggest joy?

Watching my children experience and explore the world around them. My three year old is really tying everything together right now and understanding how the world around him fits together (like when I tell him that something broke he asks me if it went bye-bye in the garbage truck). He’s connecting the dots and every new observation he makes just blows my mind. It’s those every day moments that make me the happiest. And it’s also those little moments in time that seem to slip away the fastest.

Best wish for your children?

I hope that they can always be true to themselves and are the best version of themselves they can be. In middle school I took up the flute and I was good. But when I got to high school I wouldn’t join the band because I thought it was only for geeks. I’ve regretted that decision ever since. I hope they always follow their talents and don’t worry what others think. I want the voice in their head and not that the cool kids to be their guide.

How do you find time for yourself/what do you do?

My husband has a LONG commute, that is when he isn’t traveling for work. Most work weeks I’m an only parent. And that’s why I love my babysitters. I do a babysitter share with another family a couple mornings a week for my little guy. That gives me time to get things done and find time to do things that help me refresh. I don’t think I could be a good mom if I didn’t have time to myself. Oh, and yeah, that kid takes LONG naps; that’s the other thing that keeps me a happy mama!

What do you wish you had more of or less of to make your life easier? 

Time. There is just never enough time to do everything you want to do, to be the parent you want to be and to accomplish all the goals you set for yourself. I always think of all those summer days as a kid when I’d complain to my mother that I was bored. What I wouldn’t give to have time to be bored. Boredom is a luxury I think parents just don’t get. If only there was a way to add about five more hours to the day.

 What do you hope your kids learn from you?

That you should always go after whatever it is you want. Also that it’s ok to change your mind. I originally intended to go into academia and got halfway through my dissertation. At that point I realized becoming a professor probably wasn’t going to be the best choice for our family and I made the decision to let it go. A few years later I wanted to turn my love of scrapbooking into a business. Within 6 months my website was up and running. Four years later after creating and fostering a successful business I knew I needed another change in my life. I sold the business, had baby number three and stayed home for a couple years. Then I missed having something of my own. After a few chats with Erin about our love of blogs we knew we wanted to start our own. And we went for it. It’s not the conventional path but it’s one that’s made me happy and I hope that’s something my kids can see. I hope they’ll always choice the path of happiness even if it’s harder or not the conventional way.

What are some of the best things you learned from your own mother?

Don’t be mean to your siblings because they are the ones that are always going to be there for you.
Don’t watch too much tv because it’ll rot your brain out.
When you throw a party put in lower watt bulbs so no one will see the dust.
Don’t cry over spilled milk.
Don’t cry wolf.
And perhaps my favorite – if a baby is sleeping let her be. If something happened that’s not going to change if you go in to check on her. But you might just wake her up. Just enjoy that extra long nap.
Yep, my mom was definitely a laissez-faire kind of mother.

Is there any advice you would give to yourself as a new mother, looking back on what you know now?

It all happens in a blink of an eye. Enjoy those little moments more, give those wee ones all the hugs and kisses that you can, take more pictures and videos. And write down all the sweet things they do because as much as you swear you’re going to remember it all, you won’t. Let the little things go because they are after all only the little things.

 

 

#Alt Summit believes every mother counts